


Letting Go

by Bluesummers



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst and Feels, M/M, One Shot, One-Sided Levi/Erwin Smith, Short One Shot, Slash, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-11
Updated: 2019-06-11
Packaged: 2020-04-24 14:37:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19175341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluesummers/pseuds/Bluesummers
Summary: The sex hasn't been the same since Erwin lost his hand.





	Letting Go

**Author's Note:**

> My first work for this ship. And for this fandom, really. (In writing. Definitely not the first in my head.)  
> Please read the description to see if this is your thing.  
> If so - enjoy!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin.

 

 

It didn't work anymore.

Not for him, anyway.

Not that it mattered. This wasn't about him. Not anymore.

Fuck, the muscles in his thighs were screaming. He's been training since dawn, body straining and harness digging into his flesh, and just wanted to rest. But he couldn't. Not yet.

He had to focus on each movement just to keep on going. Up and down. Up and down. Up and down. Thighs and back in anguish.

"You're distracted."

Shit. Why did Erwin have to be so sharp even at times like this?

"Yeah. Sorry. There's a lot on my mind."

Hurt swiftly crossed his commander's bright eyes. It pained him to see it. But it was better to admit to some truth than to deny it entirely. Erwin would know right away.

"You don't need to think about that. Not now."

That was true. Once.

Erwin's remaining arm wrapped around Levi's neck, bringing him down for a kiss. Their sweaty chests rubbed together as the familiar tongue plunged into Levi's mouth. An attempt to distract him.

It almost worked. With the muscular hand tightening around him and the dominant lips claiming his, Levi could almost remember what it used to be like.

But it wasn't like that now. Levi sensed that in his mind as well as in his body. And Erwin's shot at diversion shamefully fell apart.

He felt nothing but exhaustion and regret.

At least this new position gave him some respite. He stopped moving up and down on Erwin's cock, and instead slowed down into a circular, lazy pattern.

He purposefully groaned and bit down on Erwin's lips, hard and fast, before the other man could tell something was wrong.

"It's different," his leader muttered into their kiss. Was this an apology? An inquiry? Levi was either too tired or too dim to tell.

"Yes," he conceded, "but it's good. Or it will be, if you shut up and fuck me."

What a filthy lie. A filthy, disgusting, obvious lie.

But what the hell was he supposed to say? That he wanted Erwin's hand back? That he missed all the things he used to do to him? That he was letting Erwin fuck him out of mercy?

No. Not mercy. He was letting him do it for the same reasons he's been doing everything else in his life since the day they met.

Duty.

Loyalty.

Faith.

Levi believed in this man with all his heart. What the commander ordered, Levi executed. Erwin was the brain, and Levi his tool. No matter the cost, he'd find a way to make Erwin's wishes a reality. It was a tremendous responsibility, mental and physical, yet one that he willingly took upon himself.

But the sex was supposed to be different. Used to be different.

It was then, in their nights together, that Levi didn't have to do a thing. Erwin initiated it, Erwin did all the work, and Levi could simply let go.

He mustn't think about it. There was no point in longing for the past. Those times were over now.

He must keep Erwin happy.

Grabbing his leader's blond hair with both hands, he thrust himself up and down on Erwin's cock, throwing his head back, half-moaning, half-screaming.

He shouldn't think about how Erwin would summon him after a long day.

How he would tear his uniform off.

How he'd easily lift him up and fuck him against the door, over the desk, into the bed.

How he would wrap one big arm around Levi's eyes or neck or cock while the other dug into his ass, smashing that huge cock into him over and over.

How small and vulnerable he'd felt. Not having to survive or fight or make terrible choices. Not thinking or doing anything at all.

Just accept the pleasure. Pure, simple pleasure.

He never showed that side of him to anyone else. Could never be like that with anyone else.

He'll never feel that way again.

Levi was a tool now. Always. Fucking for the sake of Erwin and the Survey Corps and the human race. For everyone but himself. Humanity's whore.

Every night, he could put an end to it. And every night, he chose not to.

He took it upon himself willingly, all those years ago.

And there was that other reason. The final reason he was doing it. The real reason, probably.

Guilt.

Terrible, enormous guilt. For not going on that expedition. For being useless that one time. Because if only Levi had been there with him, Erwin would still be whole.

He cannot fail him a second time.

Erwin bit down on his neck as he came. Dirty, sticky fluids filled Levi's insides, spurt after spurt.

When the man beneath him was done, Levi let himself collapse, resting his cheek against the wide glistening chest. It was moving fast with Erwin's labored breathing. Huffs of warm air tickled the top of his head, ruffling his hair, steadily calming down.

Levi's eyes, slowly closing, were staring right at Erwin's stump.

He wanted to touch it, but couldn't find the strength.

Strong fingers wrapped around his still hard cock, pumping awkwardly, clumsily. Slumped against damp skin and already falling asleep, Levi absentmindedly came in Erwin's left hand.

For a moment, he almost thought Erwin was going to say something.

But he didn't.

He let him rest.

 

 


End file.
